The Baseball Game

So John is afraid of fire drills. He found out there was going to be one at school yesterday and we had a meltdown before school. How did I get him out of his funk? I went to his world...

Well, John, life is a baseball game. When it's your turn to bat, you can't just hide in the dugout because you're afraid of the pitcher. The pitcher might be a bully at school, a hard test, a scary ride at Disneyland, or a fire drill. Even if the pitcher seems scary, you have to step up to the plate. Sometimes you might strike out, but sometimes you hit a home run. The umpire is there to make sure the rules of the game are followed. Can you imagine if the umpire wasn't there? Well, I'm the ump, John. I might make bad calls sometimes, but that doesn't matter because whatever call the ump makes is the official call of the game. Sometimes those calls are going to be quiet and sometimes those calls are going to be loud. Sometimes, I'll tell you to just go take your base.

Your coach is Jesus -- he can't play the game for you, but he's there helping you along the way. (like the first and third base coach, mom?) Yes, John. Your team is your family and your friends and they are in the dugout, cheering you on as you step up to the plate. They'll be there to tell you it's ok if you strike out and to celebrate with you when you make a great play. But, you have to take your turn at bat... you can't sit out the game in the dugout. Everybody gets their turn at bat -- remember that. Remember that even though you might have two strikes against you, you still have another swing. When it's your turn in the dugout and someone else is up to bat, encourage them to do well. Now, go to school and hit a home run for me ok?

J: Mom, baseball is my happiest memories. Thanks I'm calm now.

After school, "Mom, I hit a home run today. I'm no longer scared of fire drills. I just needed one more experience to make the play. And, I moved up to yellow (behavior scale at school) It's been a great day".

I love that kid.

Pinterest Board: Autism Strategies

Here is a link to a Pinterest Board on Autism Strategies.  Great ideas here.

http://pinterest.com/mrsdeming/autism-strategies/

Classroom

Found this blog through Pinterest.  Wanted to share.  It's a teacher's design for her classroom to help one child with ASD, but made the changes to benefit everyone in the class.

http://newadventuresinfirstgrade.blogspot.ch/2011/09/where-it-happens-wednesday.html

Navigation

When you have a child who has behaviors that are labeled with adjectives such as "at risk", "high functioning", and "main streamed", sometimes it's hard to navigate in the vast world of the Autistic Spectrum.  Sometimes it feels like you don't quite fit in because there are so many kids that have more serious issues than your child has, they qualify for more services and seem more "in need" than your child is, and it can lead to feeling guilty or worse, may lead to your abandoning acceptance of your child's needs. 

There is a distinguishable difference between using the label of Autism as an excuse for your child's behavior and acceptance of the label to understand how your child learns to guide him through the growing process.  I've never been comfortable with the phrase "He does that because he's Autistic".  I don't like what that implies.  Our attitudes affect our behavior and choices and when we approach the Autistic diagnosis in this manner, we are missing a huge piece of the Autism puzzle.  A child with Autism is not mentally retarded.  A child with Autism is often not learning important development in ways that "normal" children do.  By understanding your own child's unique way of learning, you can teach your child certain developmental milestones that he may have missed.  Progress is possible, but if the attitude you approach your child with is "oh, he's just that way" then you are missing an opportunity to help him grow. 

Autistic behaviors, like chewing or meltdowns, are difficult to overcome....almost impossible at times.  But a child, any child for that matter, needs to be given the tools to cope and work through it.   An autistic child often has a "disorganized" brain.  You need to approach your child and navigate through his individual disorganization.  What is he/she able to organize?  What areas "speak" to your child?  Use those areas of strength to guide your child through the areas where he struggles. 

 For my son, when he was 3, he was glued to the GPS when we were driving.  He needed to know where we were going, where we were, how we were getting somewhere, etc.  My son ended up learning to read that year because of that GPS.  It started with street signs and moved from there.   By the time he entered Kindergarten, he was reading at a 2nd grade level.  Now, at the time, the GPS drove me crazy and if I didn't use it, even for a trip to the bank, there would be meltdowns and frustration.  I slowly had to introduce the "secret spy way" into the mix so that he could cope with not always having the GPS on.  Sometimes mommy just had to take a secret spy way.  To this day, if I drive to a known location and go a different route, he'll say to me, "hey, you took a secret spy way'.  Regardless of your technique, you need to jump into their heads, play their games, and be in their world.  We try so hard to get them in our world by our own navigation that we often hit boulders in the road.   By going into their world and playing along, we can introduce our world to them.  But they aren't comfortable in it until we become comfortable in theirs.  Together you can do this.  Don't worry about the Autistic Spectrum or the exact adjectives used to describe your child's condition.  Navigate his/her pathway together and there will be individualized progress at every bend in the road.  The road keeps going and it's full of rocks, but as a mom and a dad, the only thing that matters is that kid that's entrusted to you. You can't move the rocks out of the way.  You have to bulldoze right through them.